Left Alone
by Hikari no Ohjisama
Summary: Rated for the typical problems of everyday life. I suppose it's AU. Kurama. Perfect. Girlfriend... who?
1. It Was

_"...blah..." dialogue, unless in script form _

_'...blah...' thoughts _

_(...blah...) actions, just cuz the stupid stars don't work on this _

_((...blah...)) Author's notes, which are MY notes

* * *

_Disclaimer: Hey guys!!! Thanks for actually clicking the link to my fic!!! Please bare with me, I might be lame sometimes, and I tend to be repetitive and never shut up... However, this is my first fic, even if it is a re-write of my deleted one (T-T). But enjoy anyway! Cyaz at the end of the chappie. 

Me (aka Hikari): I...I don't...I don't own... (cries hysterically)

Kurama: Come on Hikari-chan; don't worry. We _are_ at least your friends, right?

Hiei: Just say the friken disclaimer already, and get it over with.

Me: (still crying waterfalls)

Ami ((A/N: you'll find out who she is...)): (comforts Hikari) If you want me to, I can say it for you...

Me: (stops crying, but sobs occasionally) Really? You'd do that for me? (sob) You're such a good friend, Ami-chan.

Ami: (takes a deep breath) Hikari-chan doesn't own Yu Yu Hakusho... And I don't either (pouts) and th..they're such.. such...– WAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!! also cries

Kurama: (takes both girls into arms and hugs them until they stop crying so hardly) Don't cry girls...

Kuwabaka: (pouts) How come Kurama gets all the girls? I want some too...

Hiei: I think they'd all rather hang themselves than let you touch them.

Kuwabaka: What are you trying to say, Shrimp?

Hiei: Call me shrimp once again, and I'll cut your empty head off with one clean swipe.

Kuwabaka: Bring it on, Shorty.

(Hiei and Kuwabara get into a fight, while everyone else is unaware of this frequent event)

Ami-chan and I are calmed down now (thanks to Kurama :) ): (sigh)

Me: Better get on with the story now!

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**Chapter 1: It Was**

Ami looked outside...out her window. It was raining - raining hard. Thunder sounded - and lightning struck as she thought about that dreaded day, once again.

It was raining that day. Just like right now. You would hear the thunder, and after a second or two, you would see a flash of lightning. That day, He was here. Right there in her bedroom that she had had for at least five years. Ami was lying on her bed. He was on the other side of the room, where her computer and bookshelf was. That corner was his favourite part of Ami's bedroom. Usually, He would spend most of his stay there, exploring the little "world" of hers, all the while conversing to her. But, this time was different. Spending a bare minute at His regular "hang-out" - must've been a new record for him - He came over and lay down next to her. She turned around and looked into his eyes. They were not showing the common gleam and shine of the usual joy and happiness. Instead, his emerald-green eyes were filled with guilt and some-sort-of sorrow. 'Something must be wrong...I wonder what it could possibly be to faze the ever blissful Kurama.'

"Umm...Kura-kun?" Ami softly inquired.

"Yes, Ai-chan?" Kurama almost instantly replied.

_((A/N: I will explain the nicknames later, and then you will know why their names are the way it is when they call each other.))_

"I was just wondering...is something the matter? I've haven't seen you like this since the time you broke up with Koi-" suddenly she stopped mid-sentence, knowing what was about to happen.

---FlashbacK---

Kura-kun and Ami used to be the very best of friends...until that time he broke up with his girlfriend, Koi. She was also one of Ami's closest friends, but didn't know that she also had a crush on Suuichi – as Koi knew him by. Koi-chan was the most perfect person that she has ever met – excluding Kura-kun of course. Koi-chan had wonderfully beautiful aqua-green hair that reached just above her chest area; it was straight, except for the ends that always seem to turn into a wavy pattern. Her bangs covered her eyes, which were a crimson red, always glowing with the ferocity of a flaming fire. Not only was her appearance beyond compare, but her personality was also unbelievable. She was a smart person, always getting straight A's, the teachers' favourite student, along with Suuichi. A friend that every person would have wanted; nice, generous, helping, just PERFECT in every single way. That was Koi, being on top of everybody else – alongside the other ideal student, Kurama. It was obvious that they were the perfect couple. Ami used to think that she was a very fortunate girl to have both of these angelic people in her life – one as a secret admirer, the other one as her roomie and both of them as her best friends.

Every night, when Koi and Ami would slip into our beds, they would always have a chat; and Koi-chan would always talk about Suuichi. Her eyes would constantly light up and her voice would always seem gentler as she would go on and on about Suuichi-kun in a dreamy voice. Ami, heartbroken inside, listened to her talk about her growing relationship with the one and only Suuichi Minamino/Youko Kurama. She whole-heartedly paid attention to Koi-chan as she rambled on about all the wonderful things about getting the "privilege" of becoming Kura-kun's girlfriend – the role that **_Ami_** wanted to play. As each nightly talk went on, the rage inside her grew and grew…until one day she just couldn't stand it anymore. That night, Kurama and Koi had shared their first kiss together; Ami had heard the same story through two different points of views: Koi-chan's and Kura-kun's. Now THAT really drove her off the edge. That same night, as Koi started their "nightly talks" – as usual – she didn't take any more crap from any of them. Yes…she exploded on her.

"THAT'S IT!!! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ANYMORE OF THIS SHIT FROM YOU!!! WE ALL KNOW THAT KURA-KU – SUUICHI-KUN IS THE ONLY ONE "PERFECT" ENOUGH TO MEET YOUR STANDARDS. EVERY SINGLE FUCKING NIGHT, I LY HEAR AND LISTEN TO YOU RANT ON ABOUT THE ONLY MAN THAT I HAVE EVER LOVED!!!" Ami yelled and screamed, pouring out every detail and secret that she had kept from Koi, hoping to avoid any chance of breaking their friendship – exactly what was happening now.

"Ami-chan...I..I..don't understand..." Koi confusedly answered.

"THERE IS NO NEED FOR YOU TO UNDERSTAND. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS STOP TALKING TO ME ABOUT **_MY_** KURA-KUN!!! YES, YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO TALK ABOUT **YOUR** BOYFRIEND. BUT YOU DON'T HAVE TO RUB IT IN AND CAUSE ME PAIN EVERY NIGHT DURING YOUR TALKS. IF YOU DIDN'T KNOW…**_IT HURTS_**. More than you can ever imagine. Now...I really don't want to yell at one of my best friends anymore. It adds onto the already unbearable pain. If I may ask, please...may you sleep somewhere else tonight?"

"Ami...I apologize for making you feel like this, but Shuuichi... he is _mine_ and _mine only_!!! This was not what I wanted our friendship to turn out as, however what's done is done. Ami-chan, from now on we are not best friends anymore, whatsoever. I guess I should move out also. Well... goodnight my dear friend." With that Koi just stepped out of my life – except for when Kurama is with her.

'From that day on, both of my best friends left me all alone. Alone in the darkness that threats to swallow me up into its..._hatred_. I tried to forget all about them, but I just couldn't. All I ever really thought about was Kura-kun...and all the fun he was having with Koi-chan. It really upset me that I was so left out of their lives. Even though it was mainly my own fault. The memories of them haunted my every thought; they just wouldn't leave me alone.

---about 3 months later---

Koi, Kurama, and I are now in the third month of completely ignoring each other. However, it seems that Kura-kun and Koi-chan are going to forgive me soon enough…

If I just wait... maybe then...

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Well... how'd you like my first re-write of my fic? (My first fic was deleted by the "people" because of some reason that I do not know, so I'm taking another hack at it.) Don't forget to REVIEW!!! I can take flames too... Arigatou to you people who read this, and please stay tuned for my next chappie - which should be out soon enough. THANKX ONCE AGAIN AND JA NE!!!


	2. My Fault

**_Disclaimer:_**

Hikari (me... just in case you forgot from last time): Yes, it is that dreaded time again, folks... I must say the d..dis.. DISCLAIMER!!! (pouts) T-T Oh.. Darn it.

Hiei: Baka... It's a stupid disclaimer.

Hikari: Hmph! You don't need to be so mean, you know. (mumbles) Even ifit _is_ your nature to diss people.

Kuwabara: So... do you want a cheer-up hug from ME??? 'Hopefully, Yukina-san won't be here...'

Hikari: AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! DON'T EVEN THINKABOUT IT!!! –

Kurama: Although, logically, that would've have been travelling back in time and preventing Kuwabara from having those exact thoughts. And that is proven to be impossible at the moment of reality.

Hikari: _As I was saying... _EEEWWWWWWW!!!! _ME HUG **YOU???**_ I'D RATHER DIE TEN TIMES, BE SENT TO HELL ALL THOSE TIMES, TORTURED, AND NOT BE ABLE TO WATCH TV THAN **HUG _YOU!!!_** (breathes heavily)

Yusuke: Good job, Kari-chan! (cracks up laughing – again)

KuwaBAKA: (TT-TT) I' m not that bad, am I?

Hiei: Ya, you are shrimpish-idiotic excuse for a stupid human being.

Kuwabara: (frantically looks for a mirror to "fix" himself - though we all know that is quite impossible – but ends up running hopelessly around in piles and piles of shattered glass from (ahem) _cracked mirrors)_

Hikari: (laughs head off) HAHA!!! SUCKER!!! (pulls face at him)

Kuwabara: Well... at least I still have fangirls ...even if they're not mine (snickers)

Random Hiei and Kurama and possibly Yusuke fangirls: EEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWW, NOT EVEN IN OUR WORST NIGHTMARES!!! (scatters and runs away screaming wildly, creating the biggest stampede ever.)

Kurama: Whew! No more crazyily insane fanatics of mine - (receives secret evil stares from Yusuke and Hiei and ignores the ones from the sobbing baka) – and those of Yusuke and Hiei...of course. (Goes off whistling "innocently" and looking at the messages on the fangirls' signs)

- to be continued... Lol.

-..-..-..-..-..-..-..-..-..-..-..-..-..-

For this chapter, and every other one, I have momentarily decided that they will be in one of the character's P.oint O.f V.iew. This time will be in Ami's point of view. Hope this is okay with you people out there. I'm thinking about putting Kurama for the spotlight next time. (This was supposedly a narrative with 1st person the whole way.. But then I changed the first chappie into 3rd person, and saved it that way, but didn't change this chap. so I decided with the whole P.O.V. thing. ) Sorry for the .. inconvenience?

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**Chapter 2: My Fault**

I've been waiting... For how long? I do not know. I just know that I have. Waiting for the daymy best friendswill let me come back into their oh-so fortunate lives: to be so perfect – and to have each other.

During the time when I was in completely different world then Kurama and Koi, I would constantly be in a state of depression. I'm not quite sure _why_ I'd be like this, considering that I knew all along that I'd never be good enough to match the picture-perfect Kura-kun. I also knew that Koi-chan was as idealistic as girls can ever get. Another thing that I knew was that Koi had always hinted that she had a major crush on him. What I _didn't _know was that my worst nightmare would actually become reality. I guess I knew it all along...maybe I was just trying to lie to myself, avoiding the truth. Like I always do...

After thought and thought, over and over again, I have finally reached the final termination to all this anguish that I endured during the past few months. It was right in front of my eyes, and I didn't notice the so obvious answer to all this suffering. But now...I know. I know the answer, the key to my misery.

It was all **my **fault.

Everything that I went through was entirely **MY _OWN_** fault. I was such a dumbass not to realize that; far too oblivious in my haze of depression to notice the fact: If only I had kept my damn mouth shut, Koi, Kurama and I wouldn't have to be in this avoidance of each other.

Muse Haru-kun: Haha.. sucker!! makes face and sticks tounge out I told you!!

Sigh 'Maybe if I just leave...maybe then I'll be able to escape from all this pain. This pain that I have caused myself. What a stupid baka I was. A stupid friken moron.'

I was a brainless piece of dog-shit. Completely un-perfect.

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Ya... That's it. Heh, I know this is like only a page long. But I'm really stuck on it. I have no idea of where I want this to go, _and_ I have all these other urges to ditch this and go write my other ideas down. (sigh) In addition, I have all these other things buggin me. I promise: the next chapter shall be longer. Ja! I'm off to bang my head against the wall and hope for brain damage.. or at least that pretty red stuff you call blood. -


End file.
